my voice

There have been days when I want to talk, and I want someone to listen. And there have been words to say and people who’ll listen. But, I don’t.

So I decided, its time to start my personal diary blog. Where someone will listen, yet no one will know. Because I’m not unhappy and I don’t want to prove it. Because today, I’m at peace with myself and I don’t want to explain it. Because I’ve loved, and still do. And because this fact bothers too many people. For too many reasons, subconscious and some obvious. And because I’ve promised that it’s over, for everyone else. That they wont hear me mention it, again. And because there are moments when I’m too overwhelmed - to be happy, or unhappy.
So this is me. Irrespective of my name.

This is my grey area. Of my failings and weaknesses and my little triumphs and my proud moments. This is my proud father and sensitive mother, my caring sister and my protective brother. My friends who love me. This is everything I wanted, just the way I want it.

Because I live in my dream world. Where I can’t see certain people unhappy. Because I can’t take people who are unfair. My world is not perfect, but in my world, my people are happy. And loved. And they love too. But everyone can’t be the way I want them to, when I want them to. I understand this. I wont expect you to. But what about you? Why do my people tell me to be happy? And when I’m happy, believe I’m happy for the wrong reasons. For loving. And for not expecting love in return.

Life’s unfair. And that bothers me no end.

I’ll sign off now. I’m not depressed or irritated or confused. I simply don’t know why people can’t read the writing on the wall.